Finding Kate
by Inks Inc
Summary: It's holiday time for Team Gibbs, and Tony intends to make the most of it. Before he races off to Vegas however, he has an important errand to run. Kate, the goldfish, needs a babysitter. Someone he can trust. Someone he knows will take good care of his beloved fish. With Gibbs effectively hired, his paternal worries are assuaged. What could possibly go wrong? It's Gibbs. Two-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

"You have to feed her three times a day and you have to sit and make sure she eats it, because otherwise she'll just let it float there. I don't know if she has weight issues or something but sometimes she just will not eat. But she likes it if you stay with her and she usually always eats when she can see you. I've left enough food for three days but enough for some treats as well. There are separate treats as well but she can only have one a day. You'll need to clean out her-" He was cut off by the familiar stinging sensation at the back of his head and rubbed mechanically, with a wounded expression.

Gibbs sighed.

"DiNozzo that was just a warning. Now, I will slap you silly if you do not get the hell out of my house and go have a good time. I can handle this…situation." He glanced down at the ornate fishbowl in his hands that contained the legendary Kate DiNozzo. Her brother, sister…whatever, had long since passed on and had been buried with great dismay. His eyes flew up to heaven at the memory of it as Kate swam rather balefully around in his hands, her beady eyes taking in her new surroundings only to forget them in a continuous three second circuit.

"Be kind to her Boss. She's going to miss me. That's all I ask."

His eyes found the clouds once more.

"DiNozzo…they have a three second memory." Tony shook his head vehemently, hovering on the doorstep with his go bag in his hands. "Actually, that theory has been scientifically debunked. It's now thought that goldfish can recall any particular event for up to five months. Which of course means if you traumatise Kate here I'm going to be the one to deal with it for five months. She's hard work as it is. Oh, one more thing Boss. When you're feeding her she likes if there's a little noise in the background. I've found that a little Elvis get's her right in the-"

He blinked as the door was suddenly slammed in his face.

"Have a good time and get off my damned porch," the voice from inside hollered, "I'll take care of your damned fish, just go!" Smiling slightly and knowing Kate was in good hands, Tony gave a farewell rap to the door and jogged from the porch to where three of his buddies were impatiently waiting for him in James' car. Sliding out of the driveway and setting the course for Vegas, Harry slugged Tony on the shoulder with a bemused expression. "You want to go back and give your aquatic rat a kiss goodbye DiNozzo? Maybe bring her back a nice fish hook? She looked pretty tasty." Speaking over the gales of laughter, Tony grinned good naturedly. "What can I say fellas, she brings out my paternal side. I love that fish. But now that I know she's in the best hands possible, let's get this trip on the damned road."

Gibbs, in a very rare bout of generosity, had given them all the week off. He hadn't mentioned that he'd been ordered by HR to do just that. Apparently he was a "slave driver" or something equally as ludicrous. Betty in accounting had had a conniption at the lack of holiday pay on his people's accounts, including his own; with the result that team Gibbs was free for an entire week. He hated it. But the troops had taken the news with glee and had dashed off here, there and everywhere. Gibbs smiled as he threw himself down on the sofa with Kate safely ensconced on the coffee table. It was good to see the team be able to just let loose and be young. He supposed, with a stab of guilt, that maybe he did work them too hard. The familiar noise at the backdoor suddenly wailed out and he rolled his eyes as he heaved himself up.

This was perhaps his deepest, darkest secret. The one he'd rather die than let it get out.

Opening the door and reaching down, he scooped up the cat with the familiarly annoying rush of affection in his gut. She had been a pure stray about a year ago, but now…she was practically his. What had started out as a grumpily given bowl of milk had turned into a rigorous and gourmet feeding schedule, three times a day. Only the best of cat produce. She was costing him a fortune but he was ridiculously in love with her. No-one knew about Sandy, as he had named her, it would be social suicide. He would never live it down. He had a carefully cultivated image to maintain and a very pretty, fluffy kitty was _not_ conducive to maintaining it. He, not for the first time, imagined Abbs' face if she found out and his gut churned in embarrassment. The whole damn Navy Yard would know about it in a single working day.

Rubbing her silky head as she nuzzled into him with delight, he led her into the kitchen where her dinner was already waiting. Hence keeping Tony at the doorstep. Setting her down he smiled as she jangled over to her bowl, the bell he had hand crafted her swaying jauntily on her neck. Leaning against the fridge, he happily watched her devour a game infused casserole that the lady at the store had recommended. It would seem to be a top notch recommendation if the purrs of contentment were anything to go by. When she finished up, he leant down to wash her bowl out and give her the night-time treats she knew were coming. She nuzzled against his leg contentedly as she always did but suddenly, her entire body went ram-rod straight and she hissed viciously. Glancing down at her in confusion, Gibbs blinked when she suddenly darted from between his legs and dashed into the living room. He followed her, thinking with a sinking sensation that he had a rat problem, but he had a much, much bigger problem than that. A dull thunk radiated throughout the house before he could even see where she'd gone. When he did see her, the ceramic cat bowl fell to the ground with a clatter where it broke into smithereens.

The very tip of Kate's tail was just about visible in Sandy's mouth as she sat happily in a puddle of water, the fishbowl spinning dramatically and emptily in her wake.

Gibbs paled to a vampire white.

"Sandy," he croaked out, "Please…Jesus Christ….no no….spit her out….there's a good girl…."

He moved slowly towards her and she looked up at him intuitively, the thrashing tail protruding from her mouth. It felt like an eternity as he inched towards her, the soaked carpet wetting his sock clad feet as he crept along. If he could just get a hold of the tail and pull Kate out. By the trashing, she was still alive and Sandy was merely playing with her food until she was hungry enough to go for the kill. He leant down beside her, murmuring gently, reaching out his hand slowly….slowly….until he could just about touch her. His hand was a fraction of an inch away from the swinging, scaly tail. Sandy looked at him with an almost bored expression as he came within seconds of heroism.

Before leaning back and gulping down Kate with one crunching, bone shattering snap.

The yelp that escaped Gibbs was one that hadn't escaped him in many, many years.

He was a dead man.

…

TBC: One more chapter! Just fancied a break from the heavier stories! It's fun to write a panic stricken Gibbs for once!

…..


	2. Chapter 2

The twenty-something sales assistant stared blankly at the positively demented looking man who was firmly clutching an empty fish bowl. He chewed his gum slowly, with a rather vacant expression that filled Gibbs with the desire to seize him by the neck and throttle him. He took a deep steadying breath and tried to calm himself. "This is very important," he said loudly, trying to impress upon the ignoramus in front of him that his needs were essentially a matter of life and death. "I need a goldfish." Nodding slowly, Ken, pointed for the third time to the multitude of goldfish swimming happily a mere three feet away. "I know. You've said, and like _I_ said, we have at least one hundred goldfish in stock and-"

"No, god damnit, this fish is a special frigging fish!"

Ken stared.

"Dude. A goldfish's a goldfish. There's nothing special about them."

Gibbs mewled in exasperation. He had mere hours before Tony got back. He had spent the two or three days that he'd been gone humming and hawing about how to deal with Kate's murder. He'd resolved in the end to tell Tony the truth, that she was gone. But when D-Day actually arrived and the heartbroken expression he knew he'd see burned into his brain with vigour, he caved. He needed a new fish, a new Kate. But the problem was, she had been no run of the mill goldfish. She'd had a damned black dot above her right eye, minute and unnoticeable, but something Tony had taken great pride in. She was different, was Kate, special. Gibbs felt the now constant feeling of guilt bubble in his gut as the thought her untimely death.

He had to fix it.

"There is something special about the one I'm trying to replace. She had a minute black dot above her right eye and I need a _new_ fish with a minute black dot about the right eye. What part of that do you not understand?" Ken blinked. "Listen man, I ain't ever head of no black dot goldfish. Goldfish are _gold…_ that's why they're called _goldfish_. I don't have one with a black dot above the right eye." He looked particularly vacant for a moment before smiling with pride. "You could just ink one on," he suggested, "Waterproof ink. If it's a tiny dot then it's not going to hurt the fish. We have a guy here that's like a fish whisperer. They love him man, you should see them. He transfers them from their tanks to the baggies they go home in. I'm sure he could do it real quick for ya."

Gibbs had never felt the urge to kiss a man but Ken was looking more and more beautiful by the second.

"Good Jesus, thank you. You don't know what you're saving me from, I-"

"For a price."

Ken was nowhere near as dim witted as he looked. He sensed there was a little girl on the horizon, oblivious as to the loss of her dumb ass fish and this old timer was the perfect grandfatherly victim. One doesn't make much in the purveyance of low level aquatic creatures, and it would be foolish to pass up such an opportunity. "Jamie, that's our resident fish whisperer I was telling you about, doesn't work for free. He would of course expect remuneration of a reasonable level in return for the tattooing of said fish." Gibbs gaped before quickly recognising that he'd misjudged Ken. Ken was an asshole, but Ken… Ken was not stupid.

"How much?" he barked, "How much is this insanity going to run me?"

Yellowed teeth bared in a calculating grin.

"Two hundred and fifty bucks. Plus five for the fish."

Gibbs' eyes bulged in their sockets. "Two hundred and fifty five dollars!? For a deformed, inked and low life expectancy goldfish? What are you _nuts?"_ Ken chuckled and shook his head. "Look, buddy, I'm not the one who got my little princesses goldfish an early, watery grave. You wanna save your precious girl from the heartbreak, then you pay up. Simple as that." Gibbs stared in utter bewilderment. "What little girl? This fish is for a forty-something year old man!"

Ken gawped.

"You're going through this much effort for your _boyfriend?"_

Red splotchy circles blossomed on Gibbs' cheeks. "Boyfriend?" he spluttered, "He's not my….he's my….he's…." he trailed off, his vacation time going from worse, to even worse to downright hellacious in the blink of an eye. He had no choice. He couldn't let Tony come how to an empty fish bowl, couldn't inform him of Kate's untimely demise. "Fine," he growled, "I'll give you your damned blood money but you better get me the best looking damned fish this side of the Atlantic. You have ten minutes. I want Kate the Second ready and waiting not a minute later."

As Ken grinned in victory, he turned away with a snarl distracted by his cell's piercing shrill. Seeing the caller ID he groaned but forced himself to answer. "Gibbs." There was a wail of happy voices in the background, but Tony's voice was audible over the din. "Hey Boss!" came the chipper greeting, "How's my favourite guy and gal doing then? Does she miss me?" Gibbs swallowed and glanced down at the floor, shame creeping into his gut with a healthy side order of raw guilt. "The fish is fine, Tony. Sooner you come and get the thing outta my house the better as a matter of fact."

Bemused chuckling filled his ears.

Tony chattered on for the full ten minutes that Gibbs was waiting in the unpleasantly scented store. The elder of the two listened partially and absentmindedly as he begrudgingly placed two hundred and fifty five dollars into Ken's greedy palm, his eyes warning him to keep his mouth shut. As he disappeared into the back of the store, only to return three minutes later with a bemused looking, minutely right-eye-marked goldfish. Gibbs felt impossible relief as he snatched the water rat from Ken's hands and stalked from the store, distinctly hearing the kid shout to his colleague about the _crazy old guy_ he'd just ripped off. He was a block away from the store and just about to get Tony off the phone, when something he said made his blood run cold. Well, two things he said made his run cold. Colder than cold.

"Anyhow, guess I'll see you in a bit Boss. We're earlier than we thought, about half an hour out and the guys really wanna see the black dot above Kate's left eye. They don't believe that she looks like a pirate. Thanks for babysitting, see you in a few!" The awaiting park bench was the only thing that broke his fall as he collapsed onto it in horror. Kate the Second swum happily in his hand, the black dot above her _right_ eye shining brightly in the afternoon sun. Gibbs looked down at her and felt his insides go from chilly, to glacial, to central ice age territory.

It was game over.

…..

TBC

…..


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting miserably in his living room, watching the fake and useless Kate the Second swim happily around Kate the First's bowl, Gibbs knew he was screwed. There was nothing left to do. Tony would be here in three minutes, if not less, and all he had to show for his babysitting skills was a fake, wrongly tattooed fraud. The balloon of hope that Tony might not notice the discrepancy in the infernal black dot had long since burst. His second-in-command had a borderline unhealthy relationship with his fish, he knew every inch of her, and he would know instantly that Kate the Second was an imposter. Watching the fish swim jauntily around, at a two hundred and fifty dollar price tag, Gibbs was seized by the manic desire to strangle her. Before he could remind himself that he was no fish killer, the horrifying sound of the front door squeaking open screeched throughout the house.

"Boss? I'm home!"

He could run. He could pack his stuff up and be on the first plane to Mexico. He'd even take Kate the Second with him. They could be fugitives together. The thought suddenly captured him, but then it was too late. Then Tony was bounding into the living room, mercifully sans college buddies. Spying Gibbs and Kate, he grinned widely as he threw himself down on the sofa, tossing a souvenir shop back over to the elder agent, containing mementos of his trip. Murmuring his thanks through a sandy windpipe, Gibbs felt his heart stop when Tony turned his attention to the damnable fish, plucking the bowl right off the coffee table to examine and greet her warmly. When his face fell, the fugitive plan suddenly seemed a viable option once more. When his face turned a horrifying shade of pale, the idea of renouncing his American citizenship became the only viable option.

"This is not Kate."

He turned to Gibbs, accusation burning in his eyes, holding the Changeling of fishes. "What the hell is going on, Boss? Where is Kate? Why is this fish in her bowl, touching her stones? She wouldn't like it, why would you…why would you…." His face suddenly flooded with understanding and a gasp of anguished horror hissed through his teeth. "You _murdered_ my fish? You neglected her into her own death? Is that what happened?" He shook his head, grief swimming in his eyes. "I trusted you. I thought you all of people, I could trust. How the hell could you do this to me? To Kate?" He paled even further then and slammed Kate the Second down on the coffee table, making to leave. Jolting out of his horrified reverie, Gibbs stood to stop him.

"Tony. Tony, wait. I can explain, you don't understand-"

"You killed my fish! What's to understand?"

"It wasn't me. I tried to save her, but Sandy had her and I just couldn't get there in time."

"Who the hell is Sandy?"

Gibbs blushed. Taking a deep breath, he pursed his lips together. He saw the confused and concerned expression on Tony's face as he made a high pitched whistling hiss. A few seconds later, a jauntily fluffy Sandy padded into view, with a soft meow for introductions sake. Tony glanced down in shock as she rubbed around his legs, marking him. "This is Sandy," Gibbs admitted quietly, "She's sort of my cat. She kinda….adopted me. She was here and I forgot how low down to the floor Kate's bowl was and then…she….well it's her nature, see? They're hunters. Anyhow, by the time I got to her, it was too late and I thought, I just thought…I could get you another fish. I got her tattooed…but above the wrong eye…" He swallowed, breaking his trademark rule.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear. I know how much she meant to you."

Staring, as the purring cat leapt into Gibbs' arms and nuzzled into his chest, the younger man felt his mouth fall open. Gibbs and a cat? A _feline?_ A dog, sure, he could see that. A German Shepherd or something like that. But a cat? A fluffy, purring cat? He blinked. It was almost surreal. He looked from Sandy to Gibbs in bewilderment, his eyes struggling to take in the very obvious bond that was between them. "She killed my fish?" he said quietly, "That cat killed Kate?" Clutching Sandy tighter to him, Gibbs nodded. "Yes, but she's a cat, Tony. It's in her nature. They're hunters. It was my fault for leaving her in such a low lying position. This was my fault, I take full responsibility. Ok? This was entirely my bad and I'm sorry. Really, I am."

Tony glanced down to Kate the Second and felt his throat constrict.

"How did you tattoo a fish?"

Gibbs grimaced.

"With considerable financial distress and loss of dignity."

Chewing his lip, Tony bent down and scooped up the fish bowl, staring at Kate the Second intently. Sighing, he allowed his loss to wash over him. Logically he knew that it was a freak accident, but man, he had loved Kate the First, he really had. Swallowing, he tucked Kate the Second under his arm and nodded brusquely. "Apology accepted, I guess. But I will never ask you to babysit Ziva, _ever."_ Gibbs frowned. "Why would I ever need to babysit Ziva? She's a grown woman." Tony rolled his eyes and thrust Kate the Second out for inspection. "Now that Kate's dead, it seems only fitting that this imposter be called Ziva. She even has the killer look in her eyes." Gibbs glanced down at….Ziva and found her to be utterly without homicidal intent, but nodded his agreement nonetheless.

He would have agreed to pretty much anything in that moment.

"She's a killer, for sure."

Brightening, Tony glanced down at Ziva and nodded. "She is, isn't she?" Smiling slightly, Tony threw his head towards the front door. "Anyhow, I gotta run. I was planning on showing Kate…Ziva, to the guys. I'm sure they'd buy that this _is_ Kate, but that would be an insult to her memory so I'm just going to bring Ziva home and get her settled in. With regards to compensation for the loss I've suffered, I'm going to need another week off, with pay, to properly mourn her loss. Given that her death was a direct result of your negligence, I'm sure you're more than eager to accommodate my needs and will smooth it out with HR, right?"

Gibbs spluttered.

"Tony. No way in hell are you getting another week off. You can't just…can't…."

The look that was levelled at him, accompanied by the thrashing of Ziva, rendered him mute.

He looked down at the floor, experiencing the unusual and uncharacteristic feeling of defeat.

"I'll smooth things out with HR, have a great week."

…

FIN  
…...


End file.
